Sunday, January 22, 2012

Single Handed.

I blame Trader Joe's for singlehandedly raising my a1c. Yes. It is all Trader Joe's fault.  With all of its holiday goodness and time-limited products available only during the Christmas season. Fucking Trader Joe's.

Let me tell you a little story about our frienemy, Cookie Butter.

Several weeks ago, while shopping at TJ's, I had noticed Cookie Butter staring at me, longingly, from his place on the "new products" shelf. Intrigued, I went over to read the label. Immediately from the description, I knew Cookie Butter was bad news. In one of my stronger moments, I resisted and put him back on the shelf.

Several weeks later, I was shopping in TJ's again and they were giving out samples of Cookie Butter. What could a sample hurt? Maybe I'd try it and hate it, right?

Bad decision. Of course it was delicious! This time, my willpower was weakened and Cookie Butter followed me to the checkout counter. I couldn't resist the urge and opened him up RIGHT THERE IN THE TRADER JOE'S PARKING LOT! It was so good. Thankfully, I was able to stop myself from eating the whole jar with my finger!

However, once I got Cookie Butter home, it was all down hill from there. In fact, it got so bad that one night, I actually threw him in the garbage. Twisted the lid on tight, tossed him in, never to hear from Cookie Butter again.

Until the next morning, when I took him out of the garbage and ate him on an english muffin for breakfast.

Definitely not my proudest moment.

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