The Little Post that Could

Ever since Jerry and I started dating, despite all of the other wonderful contributions I have made to his life, I have been a curse to his birthday.

The first year we were dating, I was diagnosed with diabetes, felt like shit all through his birthday dinner, and was hospitalized the very next day. Welcome to 30! Weeeee!

The second year, we weren't dating at all. We had broken up just days before his birthday. Fun stuff. 

This year....well, this year, I wasn't completely sure that we would make it to his birthday either. I have neglected to post any updates on our move and living together, mostly, because it's kind of sucked. The adjustment of living together in combination with some relationship issues we hadn't quite worked through had made those first few months not fun ones.

After several months of being bogged down in so much negativity, we hit our breaking point. If it hadn't been for our already planned trip to Spain, I probably would have been packing my bags. I'm glad I didn't. 

I am thankful for our trip to Spain for so many reasons, the most of which is the renewed energy and hope I gained in our relationship. Once all that shit was put aside, I saw the man I love. Hiding behind a cloud of his own noxious gas. But still...he was there.

And now I am here. Celebrating the birthday of the guy who exudes excitement over the smallest things, who has an endearing playfulness and humor, who offers to help strangers when most of us would probably just walk on by.

Relationships are not easy. Living together is even more challenging.

I'm not sure where our crazy lives are leading us, but I sure am glad you've been around for part of mine. And that I can be here for part of yours.

Happy Birthday, my dear. To many more, less-cursed birthdays. 

Out of the Box

Ingredients: Sugar, Vegetable Oil Shortening (Partially Hydrogenated Soybean and Cottonseed Oils, Monoand Diglycerides, Polysorbate 60), Water, Corn Syrup. Contains 2% Or Less Of: Cornstarch, Salt, Natural and Artificial Lemon Flavor, Preservatives (Potassium Sorbate), Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Citric Acid, Sodium Citrate, Colored with (Yellow 5)

Standing online at Target, that was my reading material.

For my birthday, I thought I would make myself some cupcakes. Lemon ones with lemon icing. Sounds delicious, right? Until the lemon icing rolled on its side, exposing its nasty under belly. Once I saw that list of ingredients, I knew there was no way I was buying that icing. Or the cake mix!

I figured, "I'm creative. I'm a good cook! It shouldn't be hard to make a healthier, more natural icing!" Still wanting the shortcut, I bought a new organic cake mix with a list of familiar ingredients and set out to make my own frosting. 

.......

Noticing the lack of pictures here? 

Unfortunately, the organic cake mix ended up tasting more like corn muffins then lemon cupcakes. I know I'm in trouble when my friends politely decline finishing a cupcake! The frosting, however, was actually pretty good...if it had ever achieved it's full frosting potential. Which it didn't. Because I refused to put in the required 3 1/2 cups of powdered sugar!!!! Diabetes. Blood sugar. Come on, people!

Feeling a little deflated from the previous night's insulin pump adventures and disappointed that no real birthday cake had yet been consumed, I decided to take another crack at cake making. Except this time, it would be for breakfast. It would be a tried and trusted recipe. It would still be lemon flavored!

 

Lemon-Strawberry Birthday Breakfast Cake
Makes 1 cake, but could easily be increased to make more

Cake Ingredients

1/3 c oat bran 
2 tbsp unsweetened applesauce
3 tbsp milk
1 large egg
1/4 tsp baking powder
1 - 1 1/2 tsp lemon extract
1 1/2 tsp sweetener of your choice (Brown sugar adds a nice flavor, but I usually opt for the truvia!)

2 - 3 strawberries, chopped
pinch of salt

Icing Ingredients1/4 c cottage cheese

1/2 tsp baking powder

1 tsp to 2 tsp sweetener of your choice

1/2 tsp lemon extract

splash of milk, if needed

1 - 2 strawberries

Method

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and grease a small ramekin.
2. In a small bowl, whisk the egg.
3. Whisk in applesauce, lemon, and milk.
4. Mix in oat bran, sweetener, salt and baking powder until just combined.
5. Pour into well-greased baking dish, spread evenly, and bake for 32-36min, until a toothpick comes out almost clean.
6. Slide a knife around the edge and flip out onto a plate. 

7. For icing, place all ingredients in a small blender or food processor. Blend until combined. Add milk if you prefer a thinner consistency. 

30 Years Young

I was out to dinner with my good friend, Erica, a few weeks ago. During dinner, she said something rather wise. It must be because she's approaching her 30th birthday too.  

She said something along the lines of when you're 16 years old, you think you know everything. Everyone else is an idiot. Your parents, your teachers, pretty much an adult in your life just doesn't get it and probably never will. At 21, with your alcohol-infused brain in the driver's seat, you realize you obviously didn't know everything at 16....because you know it all now! At 25, you start to get the sense that maybe there are things you don't know. You consider the possibility that there might still be things for you to learn. And at 30....well, at 30, you realize you actually don't know shit!

I have come to have a new appreciation for the saying "Men plan. God laughs." As life moves along, it's clear that it just doesn't unfold the way that you expect it to. Things get tossed in the way that you never would have expected. Oh, hello there, Diabetes!

If you had asked me at 16 or 21 or even 25, what I'd be doing when I was 30, I probably would have told you that I would be married with at least one or two kids while successfully running my own non-profit organization. Of course, by 30, I would be wildly successfully, completely healthy, and well on my way to financial independence!

You can stop laughing now.

If I was today what my deluded younger self thought I should be, I would married to the wrong person, with children I wasn't ready for, in a job that was over my head. I am actually really glad that I'm not any of those things.

While at times I still feel like I'm waiting for life to start, I see how much life I've already had and how really fucking good its been. Its had its ups and downs, but it has shaped me into the person I am today.  And she's not too shabby. I also see how much more life there is to come and it's pretty damn exciting.

So...go ahead! Come at me, 30! I am ready for ya!

I Hate Sandra Lee.

Sandra Lee of Semi-Homemade, that is. That ridiculous television shows that basically encourages Americans to eat even more processed food by buying a ton of pre-packaged items to make "semi-homemade" meals. It's either homemade or it's not, people!

But as much as it pains me to say it, the cupcakes for my birthday were semi-homemade. Bllleeehhhh! They're from a boxed cake mix, but made to be reduced fat and dressed up a bit with raspberry jam.

Whatever, Sandra Lee, whatever.

Argh! Mini cupcake monster!

Mini Lemon Raspberry Cupcakes

Ingredients
1 box lemon cake mix
3/4 c Egg Beaters
1/3 c. apple sauce
1 c. water
1 jar reduced sugar raspberry jam (used Trader Joe's organic)

Method
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Add first four ingredients and beat mixture until smooth, about 2 minutes.
3. Spoon into each cupcake cup a half teaspoon or so of cake mix.
4. Spoon into each cupcake cup a quarter teaspoon or so of raspberry jam.
5. Fill the rest of the cupcake cup with batter.
6. Bake for about 20 - 22 minutes or until the tops of the cakes are golden and the tops spring back when touched.

I know today is  Dad's Day, but I didn't want to be a liar and not give you an uplifting cupcake post as I had promised! A post about my dad is on the horizon!

Killin' Me!

The List!

The night before my party, I had a whole plan. Which I actually typed up and printed out! It was the plan to keep me organized! To make sure every thing I wanted to get done actually did while not having a massive panic attack while doing it. 

The night before, I had given make self the tasks of going food shopping, cleaning the apartment, making two of the dishes, and putting wine in the fridge. Yes, wine in the fridge was on the list. It is just one of those things you forget until every one is drinking warm white wine and the party is JUST RUINED! RUINED, I tell you! 

One of the dishes I was planning on making was Yum Sauce. I saw this recipe on Peas and Thank You, a vegan blog that has assorted stories and recipes by a mother of two (who is quite funny). I believe she refers to this sauce as Mmm Sauce. It is a pretty straightforward recipe. Throw a bunch of shit in a food processor and viola! Yum sauce. 

But oh no, it couldn't be that easy! The first time I turned on the food processor on, I forgotten to put in the top attachment thingy for the lid (that is its technical name) and splattered my kitchen with a mixture of oil, water, and half processed chickpeas. Stupid! 

Okay, let's try this again. Nope, the top did not line up right with the bowl and continued to splatter my kitchen. What's more frustrating then a broken food processor? Three broken food processors! Why do I have three food processors? It doesn't matter! I don't judge your weird collections!

By the time I actually finished making this recipe, I had thoroughly wiped down my kitchen four times and then proceeded to wash an entire jar filled with cooking utensils that were causalities in the Great Yum Sauce War.  Oh, and three stupid food processors!

Everybody had better loved that friggin' Yum Sauce and God helps anyone who wants to say they didn't! Grrr, Jerry!

Yum Sauce
Taken from Peas and Thank You

Ingredients

1/4 c. canola oil (or oil of your choice)
1/4 c. almonds
1/3 c. water
1/4 c. chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1/4 c. nutritional yeast
2 1/2 T. lemon juice
1 t. minced garlic
1/4 t. salt
3/4 t. curry powder
1/2 t. dried oregano
1/2 t. dried cilantro


Method
1. In a food processor ::grumble, grumble::, combine the oil, almonds, water, and chickpeas. Process until smooth.
2. Add the rest of the ingredients and process until smooth. 

It's My Party....

And I'll shoot insulin if I have to.

I threw myself a little birthday celebration this weekend to commemorate me entering the final year of my 20's. ::sniffle, sniffle:: I thought I'd share the birthday menu!

The Birthday Menu

Dips and Spreads
Roasted Eggplant Dip
Watermelon-Feta Bruschetta
Tomato-Mozzarella Bruschetta
Yum Sauce with fresh veggies
Romesco Sauce with Roasted Baby Potatoes

Appetizers
Cheese plate with fresh fruit (Brie, Gouda, Cheddar)
Turkey meatballs with Tomato Sauce and Pesto
Mini pizzettes with onion, goat cheese, and prosciutto

Desserts
Mini Lemon-Raspberry Cupcakes
Mini Brownies

Drinks
Dirty Pickle Martinis - my new drink for the summer! - which eventually turned into Dirty Bloody martinis (a combination of bloody mary and dirty pickle martini), courtesy of Jerry's twisted mind.
Plenty of wine and beer

Everything was very yummy! I'll be posting recipes and pictures of each homemade menu item in the coming weeks! But here's one to hold you over....

Watermelon-Feta Bruschetta

Ingredients
1/4 fresh watermelon
1/4 - 1/2 cup feta cheese, crumbled
handful of mint, chopped thin
salt and pepper
~3 tbsps olive oil
1/4 cup prosciutto (optional)

Method
1. Cut watermelon in 1/4 inch cubes.
2. Add crumbled feta, chopped mint, salt, and pepper. Toss together. Add proscuitto if using.
3. Add oil to bruschetta as a drizzle, tossing often. Serve with crackers or crostini.

Happy Birthday to Meeeeeeee!!

What does a diabetic eat on her birthday?

Cake, motherfuckaaaa!

But she starts the day with a 200 blood sugar (fuck you, diabetes!) and a pretty bowl of oat bran covered in berries! Mmmmm.....