To my insulin pump, that is!
Yesterday was the first part of my insulin pump training. I met with my CDE (Certified Diabetes Educator) to learn the pump basics and to put it to use! Right now, I'm actually using saline instead of insulin just so I can get the pump features down, etc. Sitting in the office, going over all the many steps of filling the pump, putting in the injection site, programming all the features, I had the slight need to cry. I was feeling a little overwhelmed.
While my stupid pancreas and I have come to terms, there are still moments where I think, "Shit, I can't believe I'm a diabetic!" A year ago, I didn't even know what an insulin pump was! I had never seen one, heard one, let alone think that anyone used one! And now here I am, excited to be owning one. It's bizarre and, at times, still seems unreal.
This is part of my life now. And I'm okay with that. Even if I feel the need to cry about it every once and again.