Simple Rules

Are you ready for another soapbox, kids? Don't worry. This one is more angry instead of guilting you into growing your own food!

Bonnie's Rules for Proper Gym Ettiquette

Clean up after yourself. Weights should be put away when one is finishing using them. If they weren't too heavy to do however many grunting sets you had, then they're not too heavy for you to walk your ass over to the weight shelf and put them back! This makes them available for the next person who wants to use them while keeping the gym floor from being a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Be considerate of others in the gym. This means wiping down your sweaty machines after you're done using it. I don't care if you're the marathon runner that just finished 50 miles on the treadmill or one of those annoying "trainer groupies" who are just pretending to work out. Either way, I don't want to touch your skank. It also means that you should allow others to take their quick sip of water from the fountain instead of making them wait for you to finish filling up your big ass bottle of water or protein shake.

Ask before taking. It's a very simple rule. Something you're taught at a young age. If you see that a pair of weights are at my feet next to my purse with my towel casually dropped on top of them while I'm obviously taking a break in between sets, then YES, I am still using those, motherfucker! I'm not blind. I can see you moving my towel, pushing aside my purse to nonchalantly take them as though I won't notice that 2 12 lbs weights suddenly disappeared.

Learn when and how to share. I'm not a good sharer either, but in a crowded gym, it's important to let others work into your sets, especially if you're going to spend an hour on the same machine. However, this does not allow you to comment on the amount of weight, number of sets, or form on shared exercise machine. Having a subscription to Men's Health does not make you a personal trainer, my friend, and I like having a neck!


Vanity is unbecoming, but totally entertaining in the gym! So, go ahead and shake what your mama gave ya! Kiss those flexed biceps! Give yourself that pep talk as you're doing a bench press! Refer to yourself in the third person! Just don't expect me to want to talk to you after.

It is not polite to stare. Four out of 5 mothers will agree. We're all familiar with the disgusting, grunting meatheads who leer at women working out. They're gross. They're creepy. They need a good punch to the pancreas. However, if you're staring at me while I change in the locker room, then you better be asking me for my fucking number. Because staring at my insulin pump is not going to make it telepathically communicate to you what it is. Have some class and ask me. It's not like you're worried about being rude or something!

Baited Breathe

Are you hanging in suspense? Waiting with baited breath to see what I ate for lunch this week? 

I know you are! Here it goes.

Red Lentil and Pumpkin Dal

5-minute Naan

Tofu Vegetable Pie

Winter Beet Salad

Every once in a while, I'll really crave beets! It is sort of a random thing to crave. I don't know if it's the deep earthy flavors or just the purple poo. It's a toss-up, really. Don't know what I'm talking about? Eat this salad. You'll figure it out. 

I love the combination of beets with fruit too. This salad is similar to my summer salad of beets and grapefruit, only more seasonally appropriate with the use of apple! So simple, but so good!

Winter Beet Salad

4 small beets, peeled

1 large apple

1/2 c red onion, diced

1 handful of parsley

1/4 c walnuts

Lemon-Mustard Dressing

1 tbsp whole grain mustard

1 tbsp lemon juice

1 tsp honey

1/4 tsp garlic powder

1/4 c red wine vinegar

1/4 c olive oil

salt and pepper

Method

1. Peel beets and add them to a steamer. Steam for 15 minutes or until soft. 

2. While beets are cooking, prep the rest of the ingredients (apples, onions, etc.) The parsley leaves are used as salad greens here, so don't chop them up. 

3. Place all the dressing ingredients into a blender. Season to taste. 

4. Allow beets to cool, then slice. 

5. Add all the salad ingredients and toss with dressing to taste. 

Dream On

I wake up, feeling a little groggy, with a pounding headache and a wicked case of dry mouth. Like real-deal, "haven't had a drink in days", "probably going to die of dehydration soon" kind of dry mouth. I let out a deep sigh as I realize that my blood sugar is probably ridiculously high.

In a bleary-eye state, I fumble for my glucose tester as I meticulously dissect everything I had eaten the night before that could have caused an overnight rise in blood sugar. I prick my finger, add blood to the test strip, and wait, in annoyance, for my glucose results.

My blood glucose tester beeps, letting me know the results are in and aren't good.  And there it is.

A 857 blood sugar!!!!

I begin to panic. 857! How did my blood sugar get so high? What could I have possibly eaten? Did my pump stop working? Did I run out of insulin? Am I going to die soon?! How is a 857 blood sugar possible?!

Then, I realize that's not possible, immediately confirmed by taking an actual blood sugar test and not just a dream one.

I believe this is a diabetic's equivalent to showing up to school naked.

The Dreaded Sprout

No offense to my parents, who I love dearly, but their culinary tastes have only recently started to blossom. While my mother has always been an excellent cook, the vegetables that frequented our dinner table were usually corn and potatoes. How very Iowa of us. There were also overcooked broccoli and string beans. Maybe the occasional sweet potato if they were on sale and it was around Thanksgiving. And asparagus served in the same steamed way.

However, as we aged and my tastes have matured, my parents have also become quite the foodies. My mother even makes her own sushi! Though a curry dish will probably never cross their table.

One vegetable I can remember my parents agreeing that they would never force us to endure was the hated brussel sprouts. What kid doesn't hate brussel sprouts?! It is as though all 80's and 90's pop culture conspired against this poor sprout to ensure children everywhere hated it! Even if they never tried it!

I was 27 years old when I had my first encounter with "this dreaded sprout." Lucky for me, I loved them! As with all other vegetables in my life, my favorite way of eating them is roasted!

I've even convinced my parents to eat them! Don't I get some life bonus points for that, Karma?

Simply Roasted Brussel Sprouts

Ingredients
1 lb Brussel sprouts, cut in half
1 tbsp olive oil
salt and pepper

Method
1. Preheat your oven to 425 degrees.
2. Coat brussel sprouts with olive oil and spread out onto a cookie sheet. Sprinkle with salt and pepper.
3. Bake for 20 minutes and check to ensure that the sprouts are browning. You can leave them for a few more minutes if they need more browning. Flip and bake for a few more minutes. 

Weekly Recap

Despite my recent case of Fatkiditis, I actually did well in my Lunchbox and Exercise challenge. 

Just check out the digs below!

Roasted Vegetable Strudel

A variation of my delicious Asian Veggie Salad

Marinated Tofu with Roasted Brussel Sprouts and Nacho Yum Sauce

Marinated Tofu

I also worked out five times this week, using BodyRock workouts! Too bad I've had some really shitty blood sugar numbers and have gained 5 pounds. I'm saying it's all muscle.  

Recipes to come!

Fatkiditis: A Clinical Diagnosis

For the last few weeks, I've been hit with a case of Fatkiditis. I'm actually pretty disgusted with myself. My pants are fitting a little tighter and I have an uncontrollable urge to devour everything in sight. It's becoming a real problem!

I thought I'd share more information on this devastating disease.

Symptoms of Fatkidits may include but are not limited to:

• A constant need to consume, even when you are beyond full and feel another bite would push you over the edge
• Obsessive thoughts on when and what you will be eating at your next meal; this is an especially strong indicator when you have not yet completed the meal you are currently consuming
• Decisions on social engagements are based on menu options
• Vacations are planned around eating establishments and meals
• Frequent questioning of others who have returned from a vacation or other social engagement (i.e. weddings, etc.) about what they ate and how the food was 
• Attraction to other people who would also qualify for this diagnosis
• Dislike of those who would not qualify -- Who likes a picky eater?!
• Strong Indicator-- you have a food blog!

Fatkiditis is possibly contagious and may also affect animals. Jackson purrs every time I open the refrigerator door. Coincidence? I think not. 

Unfortunately, at this time, there is no cure. I am offering free evaluations for any concerned parties but, obviously, you will have to buy me dinner.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do....

But getting back together is awesome!

Look how excited he is!

I know. It's cliche, writing our "getting back together" post on Valentine's Day. Whatever. I can be cheesy. 

I feel like there's not much to say other then...

I'm glad we broke up. 

I'm even more glad we got back together. 

My life is certainly better with you in it. It feels more complete. 

There are times I catch myself smiling like an idiot and it's usually when I'm thinking about you. 

Happy Valentine's Day.