Really?! Fucking really? Red velvet whoopie pies! On the very first day!
You know what? Fuck you, Universe. I resisted your temptations. I passed those beautiful, delicious whoopie pies right on by. You think you can tease me? Ha! I laugh in the face of your pitiful ruse!
Even if I did hold the container up to my nose to smell their sweet, cakey aroma. It's not the same as eating them. Sadly.
In some of the detoxes I've looked at in the past, they suggest a few days of a liquid diet, either through smoothies, juices, or broths. While I'd normally be down to try a day or two of hot veggie broth, I am not willing to do such a thing in August in between heat waves. That would be just as silly as holding a plastic to-go container of whoopie pies to your nose. Who would do that?!
Instead, I did what I thought was the next best thing.
It may look like my fancy plastic spoon is in a bowl of salsa, but it's actually Gazpacho! I love gazpacho since it's essentially a cold tomato sauce that is social acceptable to eat directly out of the fridge. I love sauce!
I prefer my gazpacho to have some texture to it (hence the almonds in this recipe), so I don't usually puree it too much. This is definitely a personal preference you can adapt to your own taste.
Salsa Soup aka Gazpacho
- 1 - 2 garlic cloves
- 1 cucumber, cut into quarters
- 1 medium red onion, cut into quarters
- 1 avocado (optional)
- 1 - 2 chipotle peppers in adobe sauce
- 1 large can crushed tomatoes
- 1 tsp oregano
- 1 tsp smoked paprika
- 1/3 c slivered almonds (optional)
- 1 tbsp olive oil
- 2 tbsp red wine vinegar
- salt and pepper
1. Add garlic cloves to food processor and process to small pieces (to prevent from huge, nasty bites of garlic)
2. Add quartered veggies and process into smaller pieces. Add avocado, if using.
3. Add crushed tomatoes, chipotle peppers, olive oil, red wine vinegar, almonds, and seasonings to food process. Process until desired consistency.
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