Friday, January 28, 2011

Diabetes, you're not my friend!

As much fun as I make diabetes seem (sarcasm, kids), it definitely has its downer moments. In the day to day, it doesn't seem that bad. It becomes part of your every day life, just like brushing your teeth or spraying the cat with vinegar so HE'LL STOP SCRATCHING THE FRIGGIN' RUG!

Greeted by the obnoxious ring of your alarm clock, you squeeze a drop of blood out of your finger onto a tiny strip of paper that hopefully tells you a happy number, then shoot up with insulin before eating your Wheaties (or in this case, some low carb variation), then test again two hours later. You do this again at lunch. Then again at dinner. AND, just for haha's, again at bedtime.

Suddenly, your internal clock becomes wildly accurate in alerting you to the two hour mark. You develop this insane ability to estimate how many carbs are in a given meal to match your insulin intake. You become really creative with certain ingredients because you know that they won't affect your blood sugar. Though I make it sound annoying, it really is quite simple. In fact, it becomes rote. You just do it.

But every once in a while, there's a change in the schedule. Either a planned or unplanned event occurs to throw the whole monotonous routine into chaos. Whether it be a meeting that runs longer than expected, an impromptu dinner with friends, or a vacation, there's just a swift kick to the ass to remind you that diabetes is ever present. (A sudden episode of hypoglycemia also has this uncanny ability too.)

Colorado had many of these Diabetes Downer moments. From a mass food shopping trip intended to feed 8 people (7 of whom are not diabetic, losers) to repeated 250 blood sugars followed by 40 blood sugars to thinking about how each piece of popcorn or sip of hot cocoa (or porter) was going to affect my numbers while everyone else happily munched away, there were definite moments of pouting, sulking, and the occasional tear. And that was just Jerry!

I wish there was a nice "PBS after-school special" way of summing up this post. Something happy and cheery, like "But I worked through it and had a good time..." Bleh! This isn't a blog about silver linings, people! It's about cynicism and being a diabetic fat kid!

Ok, ok....I sucked it up. I threw my hissy fits, gave myself the extra injections or ate the candy. Said fuck it, drank the friggin' beer, ate the friggin' popcorn, and didn't die while doing it. All and all, it was a good trip.

So ha, Diabetes! Take that!

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