Jeez! The borage of comments and threats I received after my "Diabetes Makes You Stupid" post. My mother went out and bought me a lifetime supply of skittles! Jerry is threatening to sew bells onto all of my clothes! Had I realized that this was the response I would have received, I might have played it a different way! Like....
I went to the gym this weekend, started to run, and felt a little funny. I checked my blood sugar and realized, "Shit! I don't have my diamond rings with me! Damn it! How could I forget my diamond rings? Should I tell the instructor? Will I be okay? I really could have used my diamond rings!"
Any takers? Any one? Any one?
After giving everyone the speech about how I'm still learning diabetes, still working on accepting it, knowing and allowing little mistakes to happen, trying to find the balance between being obsessive and being lax to the point of dangerous, diabetes decided to throw me a curve ball this morning. Shithead.
I went to bed last night with a 141 blood sugar, which is pretty good for preparing to go to bed since my blood sugar tends to drop in the middle of the night. My dinner was not all that carby as I just ate a veggie wrap and low carb brownie. I did not have anything else to eat.
I woke up this morning to, what I realize now, is a test. Diabetes is trying to see if I will actually practice what I preach (or vehemently type) to others. That mistakes happen, that I'm not going to get upset over every high blood sugar, not going to cry at every low, accept that diabetes just is.
I check my blood sugar and it's 256!! What the fuck?! That can't be right! I check again, 250. Huh? I check again 214! Even though they're all different numbers, I think I can average them out and see I'm in the 200s FOR NO FUCKING REASON!
I calm myself down, trying to repeat all of the defenses I just used with everyone else. Remember, not getting upset over every high blood sugar. Accepting that mistakes happen. Blah blah blah. Whatever!
Stupid fucking pancreas!
But I get it. I see it. I see the test.
Touché, diabetes. Touché.