Monday, May 27, 2013

TSA Diabetes Challenge

I'm in a secret Diabetes Challenge with the TSA. They don't know it. But it's happening.

I'm constantly testing to see how much stuff I can actually get on the plane in the name of diabetes.

Going through security at the airport as a diabetic is a very weird experience. The first few times I was pretty nervous about it. I'd have the letter from my doctor front and center, out of the envelope, fully unfolded. I'd put all my diabetes supplies right on top, my syringes, the mysterious vials of insulin, the oddly sexual looking site injector for my pump. Plus, whatever juice boxes, apple sauce packets, honey packets, all ready to go.

The next part is the controversial 3D body scanners, which I use the D-card for. "Oh no, I'm sorry. I can't walk through that violation of our personal freedoms because I'm a diabetic," flashing them my insulin pump as if it were a badge. Confused, they usually pull me over to the side. I am always pulled over to the side. I have yet to get through security without a pat down or my bags searched.

Because of this, I figured, fuck it. Let's see how much I can get through. Once, I've tried to make it through with a PB&J sandwich, a Chobani yogurt, a pack of almonds, and two apples. Yes, that was all for one flight....that was approximately four hours in duration. I get hungry! The Chobani didn't make it!

This week, I'll be taking a trip out west to Colorado. I'll be visiting a friend who I imagine is missing New York bagels, breads, and pizza pretty hardcore. Of course, being the amazing person I am, I want to bring bagels. But not just any bagels, the best bagels in Astoria, which are Brooklyn Bagels.

This is the challenge! How do I convince a TSA agent, that yes, as a diabetic, I need a half dozen bagels for the trip. No, no sir, juice boxes aren't going to cut. When I have a low blood sugar, I have to shove a bagel or two in my face. Yes, I'm sure. Call my doctor!

Wish me luck. And promise to bail me out TSA jail because I will throw down for these bagels!

1 comment:

  1. You can bring bagels - they aren't liquid.